Two Steps Back
It has only been a month since I completed David Goggin’s 4x4x48 Challenge, and while people still ask about the experience, I (like so many times before) have gone backwards since completing it.
I know what you’re thinking, yeah, sure....OK buddy.
The truth is, it is a familiar pattern for me. Set a goal, reach it and then fall backwards while I mentally reset and find my next challenge. In the last four weeks, I’ve essentially been inactive and let poor eating habits creep in. This is something you may call balance, but I know the truth; these snowball fast until I find myself undoing weeks, if not months, of hard work. This behavior is relatable, but for me it’s toxic as it creates a lot of self-inflicted stress.
As I said two weeks ago, this is normally the time of the year when fatigue starts to set in and I lose focus--letting go of the goals that were driving me in January. So, instead of taking my own advice, I hide, sometimes for weeks. I don’t get in the gym as much, junk food comes and goes and stress kicks in. This makes it much harder to work at the level that I expect from myself.
This isn’t a post to complain, it's to shine a light on the other side. The side that isn’t proud, but real. I feel it--I think we all do. The question I ask myself time and time again is how can I fix it? I haven't yet figured out the steps necessary to not fall into another cycle.
What’s interesting is even in these down periods for me, I still try to take care of what I'm responsible for. My wife, kids, work, home--that doesn’t slip. I may not be as present, but I know slipping when it comes to family and work is unacceptable. The problem with that, and so many people fall into this, is that I’m not taking care of the person they all rely on--myself. They need me at my best, mentally and physically. I can’t burn out, and I will. I can’t get sick, and it may happen.
Be selfish. Sometimes it is the most selfless thing you can do. Imagine being more present at home, executing more at work and providing more to the people you love. As time has gone on, I realized the importance of taking care of myself; fighting to snap out of these funks and the need to stay ready, not get ready. It’s crazy because even though that means more time to work on yourself, it ends up making you more efficient and as I said earlier, more present around the people who depend on you.
Time to get back to it and start another cycle. This time the goal is not to finish, instead the goal is to keep going.
Only time will tell.